Unasked Questions

The ongoing pandemic has left us with a number of unanswered questions, many of which will be answered as the months roll by. But it strikes me that there are a number of questions that have not yet been asked – at least in the stuff I read online. I know that many of my readers are quite intelligent – your reading my blog to the contrary – and you may have answers to my questions.

Here goes:

1.     Are we going to have a surge in babies born nine months or so after “shelter in place” was first in place? I suspect there will be fewer teen-age pregnancies, but how about the rest of us?

2.     Does “shelter in place” mean that guys like me will learn how to cook? Why?

3.     I have long believed that time does not move at a steady pace – that clock time is an illusion caused by the steady movement of a second hand (or the digital equivalent). So, is time moving slower or faster than it moved before the pandemic? For whom?

4.     Is a virus alive? I’ve read that it’s not. So, not to sound to philosophical, what does it mean to be alive?

5.     What does bat taste like? How is it prepared?

6.     What does Dr. Fauci do for fun?

7.     How is it that the internet is still working?

8.     If I am not on Facebook, do I exist?

9.     If I am on Facebook, do I exist? Just askin’.

10.  If those alien beings the Air Force recently observed are looking down on our struggles with the pandemic, what are they thinking? (Hard not to write this one as multiple-choice.)

11.  How can we ever go back to normal if “normal” wasn’t normal?

12.  After washing your hands for 20 seconds, is it OK to dry them on your pants?

13.  Once the schools re-open, how many parents will choose to continue home-schooling?

14.  Why won’t President Trump wear a mask? What’s the real reason? (Again, tempting to make this multiple-choice.)

15.  With the prevalence of masks, what are kids going to wear on their faces at Hallowe’en?

16.  Now that we know that “flattening the curve” does not mean the pandemic is over, what catch-phrase will replace “flattening the curve”?

17.  With people getting a bit careless about 6 feet of social distance, how can we design clothing to make it easy to enforce the rule? Hoop skirts?

18.  What is the stupidest thing that has been said about the virus (this writer’s work excepted)?

19.  Who should we be thanking in addition to health care workers, meat packers, postal workers, grocery store employees, plasma donors, etc.? Who are we missing?

20.  What does not seem as important to us as Americans as it did in January?

YOU MAY WISH TO TAKE THIS AS A QUIZ. ANSWERS ARE WELCOME.