Thursday, July 30, 2020

Masks

         
            Lots of controversy about masks, at least in the United States. Therefore, as a public service I would like to shed light on the wearing of masks, so you can make an informed decision. (I left a lot of space for you to add your own suggestions.)

 Things you can do while wearing a mask:
·      Vote

Things you cannot do while wearing a mask:
·      Kiss
·      Pick your nose

Things you can do, but don’t want to, while wearing a mask:
·      Use a public restroom

Things you can do, but shouldn’t, while wearing a mask:
·      Rob a bank

Things you can get away with while wearing a mask:
·      Buy liquor if you are underaged (more disguise also needed)

Things it’s easier to do while wearing a mask:
·      Ventriloquism

Things you can do if you and someone you are with are wearing masks:
·      Look each other in the eye, deepening the connection

Things you can only do while wearing a mask:
·      Ventriloquism

Things that wearing a mask compels you to do:
·      Ventriloquism

Things you can’t do whether you are wearing a mask, or not:
·      Be sure that other people will wear their masks

Things your partner would prefer you to wear a mask while doing:
·      Shopping
·      Ventriloquism

Things that your partner would never do with you while you are wearing a mask:
·      Rob a bank

Things that the very act of unmasking makes more enjoyable:
·      Smiles

Things that continue whether or not you are wearing a mask:
·      Sunrise
·      Gardening

Things your mask might say to you if it could speak:
·      “You drink too much coffee.”

Things you can do if you don’t wear a mask:
·      Kill me, along with strangers and people you love.


Things asked when you wear a mask:
  • Who was that masked man?

3 comments:

  1. If I wear a mask I don't have to shave or brush my teeth. I may keep wearing it permanently.

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  2. I don't wear lipstick when I'm wearing a mask. Lip tattoo is in now in place of lipstick. Also, have difficulty wearing earrings with a mask.

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  3. This is amazing, Dave! One more thing about masks, you really have to channel your dirty looks through your eyes. I´m still working on that. If I were Rex, I would definitely brush my teeth though (for many reasons), but he does know that he´ll be the victim of his own bad breath, right? ;)

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