Kim
and I were walking down the main street in Cedar Key, Florida. Two young men
approached us. Ignoring me, they each had words for my wife:
“I
love your ___________!”
“That’s
a nice ___________ you have there!”
Now,
Kim has reached an age where, beautiful though she is and young looking as she
is, she finds herself increasingly invisible. At the parties we infrequently
attend, she is ignored. Young men’s eyes drift toward younger women. (So do old
men’s, but that’s a story for another day.) And when she does engage someone in
conversation, it’s all about them – Kim does not appear to have a history or
existence of her own. Kim’s friends – women our age – have mentioned the same
invisibility.
After
the two smiling young men passed, Kim asked me, “Does it embarrass you when
people talk about my __________
that way? Do you think I’m showing off?”
“Not
at all. I think it’s great.”
When
Kim was in her 20s, the blanks would not be filled in the same way they are
now. She was a model, and when she walked down the street or into a room, she drew
lots of attention because of her figure, her hair, her eyes, her walk – the way
it all comes together in her “look.” People might not have come up to her and
expressed admiration for her assets, but they were no doubt thinking it. There
were, I’m sure, stares and whistles. She still turns the heads of older guys –
including me – but it’s not the same.
A
few years ago Kim bought a 100-400mm lens for her camera, and more recently,
she upgraded to 500mm. (For you non-birders unfamiliar with camera gear, it’s
the size of those shoulder-held missile launchers you see terrorists using.) Combining
her newfound passion for photography with her longstanding passion for birds,
she felt the long telephoto lenses were necessary. And they were: She typically
uses them to take 200-400 photos a day. Really.
 |
| Nice lens! |
Kim’s
“Nice lens!” makes her more visible at the same time it makes the birds
more visible. When we walk out on Paynes Prairie to take pictures of Sandhill
Cranes, she’ll draw comments from many of the people we see – mainly men, who
seem more interested than women in photographic gear. (I almost wrote “more
interested in photographic gear than women,” but that probably varies with the
individual guy!)
How
do I feel about this? I think it’s great. All Kim’s assets are still working
for her (though she doesn’t think so), but her age throws a gray age-veil over
the eyes of young people, so they don’t really see her. She’s invisible. But
when she is birding they do see her lens, and they are ready to compliment her
on it. Kim receives the admiration radiating from her lens. Maybe there is an
anomaly in a middle-aged woman carrying a young man’s long lens. Maybe there is
some complex Freudian dynamic going on – I don’t choose to speculate very far
in that direction. But whatever the dynamic, I love seeing Kim emerge from
invisibility to bask, however briefly, in admiration, for her happiness
enhances my happiness. And somehow her “nice lens!” reflects on me. You know,
it’s like the guy walking with his well-endowed woman: He must be doing
something right! My woman is endowed with a 500mm lens – a nice asset.
 |
| Kim with nice lens |
No comments:
Post a Comment