Sunday, January 1, 2017

My Resolutions

            It’s usually easy for me to come up with my New Year’s Resolutions. I just say, “Same as last year’s,” Kim rolls her eyes, and it’s done. The process might be a reflection of the truism that women want their men to change while men want their women to remain the same.

            As we have talked about our 2017 resolutions, Kim keeps coming back to one idea: to be more kind. While I hardly see any need for improvement there, it’s hard to disagree with the prospect of any more kindness flowing my way. But what I think she really means is to suggest a more global change: kindness toward people we encounter, if widely practiced, will make for a better world. Think and act small. She often points out how, if everyone swept the sidewalk in front of their own house or shop, the world would be a much cleaner and better place. Consideration is another word for it: Consider another person’s perspective and experience. Kindness.

            That’s all very well, but I need to come up with my own resolutions.

            Kim elaborated on the theme of kindness. “But first of all, we need to be kind to ourselves.” Now, that’s one I can get behind, and I quietly resolve to treat myself to a massage as often as I can afford it. And to keep our wine rack well stocked with Pinot Noir, our drug of choice.

            That’s all very well, but I need to come up with my own resolutions.

            I made a mistake in my first marriage when I suggested that Nancy and I come up with resolutions for each other. You can guess the results. Nevertheless, Kim suggested that I resolve “to be more present,” to which I replied, “What? Did you say something?”


We pause, now in our 70s,
to stop the downward
drift of time

moment by moment:
in your perfumed
embrace, of course,

but also when I pause
to taste the perfect
pork chop with green beans,

rice, and your homemade
applesauce, and we
linger over wine.

Time stops when, just outside
our window,  a mourning dove
raises a wing to salute us.

(It’s easier for me to write about being in the present moment than for me to actually do it.)

            I think it’s important to come up with Resolutions that are actually achievable. Realistic. This is part of thinking and acting small. With that in mind, here are a few that I’ve come up with:

·      Be more whatever it was that Kim said I should be.
·      Listen better.
·      Do something each day that can be considered “exercise.” This does not include walking across the room to get the pretzels.
·      East less sugar. Not easy while living above a cheesecake shop and across the street from a bakery, and with Kim’s scones, cookies and pies always a distinct possibility. But I said “less sugar,” so I suppose that’s achievable.
·      Floss. Upcoming dental work makes it likely that I’ll do OK with this one. Sometimes negative reinforcement is a powerful tool for change.
·      Keep my shower clean. (If everyone cleaned their showers, then . . ..) Let me amend that: Keep my shower cleaner than I have in the past, possibly approaching how clean it is when Kim cleans it.
·      Don’t get a dog.
·      Tell Kim I love her. I do remember when I was courting Kim and told her, which was a big deal for me, that I loved her. Her immediate response: “Prove it.” Wise woman. So I’ll revise this one: Prove it.

Do you have resolutions to share? Send them along to


  1. Cary/caryebell@aol.comJanuary 1, 2017 at 1:04 PM

    I don't have any resolutions to share but I really like Kim's and yours.

  2. I just try to be the best person I can be each day. That works for me. I do think our world could use some more kindness and consideration. I also believe in enjoying life each day and having fun. My fun today is having a martini and cooking a special dinner for my brother.