Kim and I have been watching a lot of movies over the past year. Too many, but we really don’t care because the movies and series have been educational. Here’s what we learned from the movies. (I will not give specific examples as it will be more educational for you to come up with your own examples.)
· Lies will be exposed, probably not when you want. And once you are caught in a lie, you will always be a liar. Even if you’re not caught.
· The same is true for secrets, especially family secrets.
· If a woman throws up, it means she is pregnant. Not drinking means the same thing. A man’s throwing up, however, does not mean he is pregnant. It may mean he’s been drinking.
· Don’t be happy too soon – it means something bad will happen to make your story interesting. If you start out with a serious problem, it will most likely be fixed in some way. Or not.
· Don’t get into arguments while driving a car, for people will die. As a matter of fact, keep your eyes on the wheel when conversing with the passenger next to you. Though this seldom leads to accidents, it makes me uncomfortable when I see it in a movie.
· Families can be toxic. But you probably knew this already.
· Everyone looks better with clean hair. If your life is boring, wash your hair so people will have something nice to look at.
· Young people tend to have sex against a wall, on a desk, or on a kitchen table. Sometimes in the bathroom. Old people make love in the bedroom.
· Algebra is very rarely used – at least, in ways you can see.
· You don’t really know your neighbors. They lie and have secrets.
· You don’t really know your spouse or partner. You may think you do, but you don’t.
· You don’t really know your children. Obviously. Knowing “what’s best for them” is not the same as knowing them.
· You don’t really know yourself. You may be keeping secrets from yourself or lying to yourself, or you may have hidden potential that will rise to a challenge.
· You don’t know shit.
· Life would be better with subtitles. Even better if the subtitles explained what the speaker was really saying, and what was being hidden. (I’ve seen that in a movie, but rarely in real life. Kim, apparently, sees them more often.)
· Anorexia is not a disease unless it occurs in a movie about anorexia. Otherwise, it’s OK to be that thin.
· It’s OK to be seen doing your bodily business in the bathroom. Meaningful conversations can take place when one of you is on the toilet or standing at a urinal.
· The experience of drama is improved if you can sip a cocktail and enjoy a salty snack while going through it.
· Life is more enjoyable without masks, both wearing them and seeing them. But you knew that already.
That’s about it. If you have learned anything from movies that you’d like to share, please let me know at email@example.com.